


Buttercups in her hair

by Zuzajs14



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Drama & Romance, F/M, Flirting, Geralt is done with us, Geralt just wants his nap, Jaskier is dumb but we love him, Romance, and some serious relationship, and then come back, loving Jaskier, some quick romance and then break up, strangers to lovers to strangers to friends to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22259950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zuzajs14/pseuds/Zuzajs14
Summary: Your life was rather boring. You always dreamed of some kind of adventure. And then the two wanderers come into inn you work in. And so the adventures begins. But not only adventure. Cause your heart skips a beat at the sight of some blue eyes.
Relationships: Jaskier | Dandelion/Original Female Character(s), Jaskier | Dandelion/Reader
Comments: 22
Kudos: 83





	1. Lady Knight

Ever since I can remember, I've always dreamed of fighting. Brutal, bloody, dirty, male fight. I laughed at village boys who dreamed of becoming knights. I wasn't attracted to this noble nonsense. Maybe because it was hard for me to believe in honour and nobility. I have never experienced them myself in my life. With my father a drunkard, who worked as a fisherman on the lake all day. And in the evenings he kept himself busy by beating my mother. My mother who has been hiding her power for years only to repay her husband for all the pain. She destroyed him…

My childhood wasn't beautiful or fairy-tale. It was brutal, bloody, dirty and masculine. Until now I wonder how I managed to live to a woman's age as I was not born a boy.

I learned fights in every possible way, at every opportunity. Although my widowed mother did not let me for too much. She terrorized me with her newfound power until They appeared and took her away. Witches. Beautiful, menacing women in elegant dresses. They were strong and proud. But I never aspired to be one of them. I would not like that.

No. I wanted to swing my sword at right and left at my own discretion. So despite the fact that I had to earn money as a innkeeper, I often played arbitrary bandit, a slayer, a hunter, a madman doing justice. And the most of all I wanted to kill monsters. Not all, because some of these beasts were beautiful and fascinating in their own way. Anyway, my skill level wasn't the best either. So I was rather dealing with people, whether they deserved it or not.

But I was still just a kid with a piece of metal in my hand, though already a mature woman whom the whole village wanted to set up and send away. So they would not have to deal with me anymore. They associated me with problems. I can't blame them. I was really attracting trouble like a magnet.

*

It was early afternoon. Most farmers were still hanging around in the field, only old Rervin sat in the tavern, drowning sadness, loneliness and old age in a mug of beer. He did it every day, keeping me company while I was scrubbing the tables. Sometimes he even honoured me with a conversation. Like this day.

"And how's the poor lad who fish eels?"

"Are you asking if his eel got to me, Rervin?" I answered with a question, smiling at the old man nonchalantly. A moment later I stood upright in front of him, imitating the voice of the said boy. “You are a respectable lady, you should settle down. And my cock demands attention, so fall on your knees, o great beauty and suck till yar out of breath!”

I did not expect that Rervin would not be the only observer of my performances. At the time I was fooling around, two men entered the inn. They stopped nearby and let me finish my own disgrace before letting me know about their presence. Then they only cleared their throat quietly, actually only one of them did.

I glared at Rervin who seemed too amused by the whole situation. Then I turned around, still surprised by the sound. I was getting myself into trouble, as usual. That's why I didn't feel so embarrassed. A little bit, yes. And a bit stupid, and a little bit uncomfortable, and a bit...

Let Chaos absorb me, those eyes... Wonderful blue eyes and a wide smile beneath them. Too wide, too radiant, too joyful. Immediately I decided that I do not like a guy in a red suit for that smile and for those damn beautiful eyes. His companion did better because he was standing there so gloomy, spreading the aura of death.

They smelled of adventure.

"Gentlemen, please sit down," I said, quickly wiping the table closest to them. “The owner is in the back, so go ahead and order if you want to eat something.”

"Beer," said the big, grim chap, politely sitting down at the table and taking two beautiful swords from his back. My eyes flashed immediately and my heart beat faster. Such steel easily won my innermost feelings after just one look.

“Geralt” the other said in a melodious voice and something shuddered in me. I looked toward him, trying my best to look highly offended by his presence. But he looked so pretty that it wasn't an easy task. “Don't be so cold to such a pretty lady. She deserves all the respect.” After these words the man looked straight at me and I couldn't resist raising his eyebrow.

Visitors were always the same. Maybe they didn't usually look like the two, but it didn't change anything. They always came here confident, eager for beer, food and women. Ready to disappear in half a second. Wanting to use the curves that were closest at hand. That is me. Forever the same empty compliments, then pokes, touching when they felt confident enough. I won't say, I let some of them do that. I also liked to have fun myself. Only that the role of a charming innkeeper in a simple dress has never suited me for more than a moment. This, however, did not suit all men. Although they usually disposed of this fact in silence and after a one night disappeared on their way.

This one even looked like a professional womanizer. One that likes when ladies melt under his touch. Oh no. I didn't feel like it at all. Especially after my own performance a few moments ago.

“Save the bullshit, pretty boy. You also want beer?”

"Hmmm," the grey-haired giant muttered, and I had the impression that it was some sort of approval for my attitude.

"I will never give up on giving honour to such a charming being like you, lady. You deserve every good word. Your beautiful figure like a the proudest mare…”

"Ha," I couldn't stop the amused snort that came out of my mouth. I have never heard such a senseless compliment. And yet the man's eyes glowed cheerfully.

“This laugh deserves the best of my ballads!” he rattled, reaching towards his back, and after a while there was a lovely lute in his hands. It didn't impress me like swords, but it did caught my eye for a moment. Yeah. Bard. It made sense.

“Give it up, it's like you want to write songs about grunting pigs. Give me your order so that I can finally serve you and take care of myself.”

"In that case, I should delay placing my order indefinitely, if only it can keep you in my company." His words were so insolent and so nice at the same time that it was hard for me to find an answer.

This time the words did not flow from my lips. Standing bent over the table of two travellers, I stared into the blue eyes of the bard, blinking time after time. I had the impression that if it took a while longer, my cheeks would glow pink. Bard also seemed to know about it.

"Julian Alfred Pankratz," he said, extending his hand to me. I am not sure if this that was supposed to save me from further silence or rather to seal my failure.

"If that fish boy who wanted to have his cock sucked didn't work out, maybe you should try this one!" Exclaimed Rervin, who was sitting quietly in his place till now.

This time the blush came very quickly. So I quickly turned my face to the old man and glared at him. He didn't seem too worried about it, because he just grinned at me with his crooked teeth.

Furious with this turn of events, I left the guests at the table, leaving Julian Alfred Pankratz's hand hanging in the air. I no longer wanted to feel like a clumsy girl who had just been served a less decent compliment. And yet I felt that way.

"So beer once," I grunted, disappearing behind the bar.

When I returned to the table with a mug, it turned out that Rervin was sitting with the wanderers. At the sight an unpleasant moan escaped my mouth. I knew too well what that meant. I will not be able to finish my work in peace. In a few moments I will be drawn into a bizarre conversation that will be rather unpleasant for me.

I put a beer in front of the grey-haired chap.

"Thank you," he said in a deep, heavy voice.

Silence.

Bard looked at me shyly, a faint smile on his lips. As if he felt sorry for me. But he didn't say a single word.

I bit my cheek from the inside. Why did he have to look so pretty? So beautiful that I wanted to stand up and fight for him and put a wreath of blue flowers on his brown hair.

"Y/N," I grunted, then went away to continue rubbing the tables.

“I told you so” I heard Rervin. Of course, this old man advised bard something about me. And he probably did it the right way. After all, he has listened to some of my complaints about men, he would be able to inform someone about what impresses me and what only irritates me. “This is not her best day, but she is a good woman. She has a rather bad experience with these idiots from here. And rather different desires than the ladies you know, dear boy.”

"Is there even a shadow of a chance that you will give up this time?" Asked that heavy, deep voice.

“You hurt me, Geralt. I just consider it my own duty to make some beings aware of their beauty...” These words sounded almost like a song.

Scrubbing the table with the rag in my hand I closed my eyes for a moment. This whole conversation made my heart feel heavier. I sat at the table I was cleaning and continued working from this position. Giving much less effort. I felt glances at me. Neverimind. It doesn't matter. I didn't want anyone to conquer me with lovely balladlike words. I wanted to grab the sword and...

"Then I will leave you alone with this awarening, Jaskier. I'm going to see if they have any work here for me.”

Jaskier? The bard introduced himself completely differently. Ha! Another cheater basing on nice words. So I judged him well.

“What work are you looking for, giant?” Rervin asked.

"As if you could advise him something, Rerv," I said, turning sideways to them and attracting their glances. Bard looked at me with such a light in his eyes... With such a childish fascination. And sadness. Sadness that probably hides in every artist.

“Don't you guess?” Jaskier said, arching his lips in a wider smile. Why was he so eager for this joy and lightness when I saw the immense sadness pouring out of his soul? "White hair, black outfit, grim loner type, two large sword..."

"The Witcher," came out of my mouth. My eyes opened wider, my legs instantly pulled me up. "The Witcher," I repeated with awe. "How could I be so stupid," I added, approaching Geralt with a smile. “I was wondering how I know this name. It's from this stupid song about you and the elves...”

“Hey!” Jaskier squealed with indignation.

Right. He was a bard. In the company of this particular Witcher. Dumb song... Oh.

"Catchy," I added with an insolent smile toward him. “But stupid. I'm not going to throw coins at this noble Witcher.”

Geralt gave me a rather cold look.

"I intend to show him the monster for whom the mayor will shower him with coins," I finished, finding the Witcher's gaze. And what was that what I saw in him? Surprise? Respect? Satisfaction? Or maybe everything at once?

“Who will take care of the pub, huh? Your mother will not be delighted that you sneak into the woods with the Witcher... - Rervin mumbled. He was scared. People in the area were rather superstitious and fearful. They were afraid of Witchers. I've always been fascinated by these mutants. Emotionless beings created to kill monsters. Oh, how much I would give to become one of them.

“My mother can fuck herself, Rev. You can repeat it to her if she ask” I said while putting on my a coat on way to the exit.

The Witcher did not comment on my exchange with the old man, but he followed me silently. And to my great surprise, the bard followed him.

“It would be enough for you to show me the direction and say what kind of monster it is,” said Geralt after a moment.

I snorted in response.

"I might as well go to the mayor and ask him about it," added Witcher.

I stopped abruptly, pressing my index finger to his chest.

"You won't take my adventure from me, Witcher. Nobody but me has the right to tell me what I can and cannot do. I am not stupid. I would never do anything about the monster on my own. But I don't dream about anything else. If you go to the mayor, I'll be at the monster first. And I will die at worst. I won't give you my story.”

I don't think I could take another "hymmm" for an answer. Fortunately, the Witcher just nodded as if he understood. It was enough for me. As long as he didn't stop me, he could judge me as badly as he wanted.

_When the noble Witcher_

_Bends his head in penance_

_Don't you try to catch her_

_Soon you'll die in silence_

_She's brave lady knight_

_There's fire in her heart_

_Her love is like a fight_

_This crushes me apart_

_Oh let her be mine_

_Oh let her be…_

“It's not time, Jaskier.”

"It's always time for a good story," said the bard.

"And it's always time to lie, isn't it, Mr. Pankratz? Or rather Jaskier?” I snapped. I was mad at the bard. Angry for this short song. A song about me... So beautiful and melodious, delicate and sharp at the same time... Damn musician with silver lips.

The Witcher cleared his throat awkwardly.

"He may be ignorant and a fool, but he did not lie to you…" interrupted Geralt, ending uncertainly, as if he did not know if he could call me by name.

“Y/N, I told you my name is Y/N.”

"Oh, pretty lady, how could I ever lie to you?"

_So her glory I'll spread_

_On my knees, with head bent_

_Crown I'll put on her head_

_To win her in the end_

_She's brave lady knight_

_There's fire in her heart_

_Her love is like a fight_

_This crushes me apart_

_Oh let her be mine_

_Oh let her be…_

"Stop it," I cut off. Why did he keep singing? Sweet lies, pretended worship.

I stopped at a small wooden storage on the edge of the forest. Inside were the tools, nets, antiques of my father. And also one rusted sword handed down in my family from generation to generation. My mother didn't even know I came into its possession.

Squeezing the familiar handle in my hand, I turned back to the bard.

“You don't know me, bard. You have no right to write songs for me or ask for anything. Not to mention me myself. And why would you want it?”

After these words, I turned on my heel and led them into the forest. All the time walking in front, I took a few meters to lead. It was then that I heard men talk to each other.

“Why does she hate me so much, Geralt? That star walking on the ground? Fire in her eyes and ice in her heart...”

“You heard what the old man said. This is a hurt woman. She won't trust you because you will sing her. And good for her. Knowing the durability of your relationships. That's not what she needs.”

“Oh ?! Oh! The great knower of love spoke up! Passionate and emotional guy.”

"Jaskier," Witcher hissed.

“I've never left a woman, Geralt. They left me!”

"I wonder why," Witcher only the growled.

I smiled to myself, amused at their exchange. I appreciated the Witcher's understanding of my dislike of men. But at the same time this bard... In how he tried to make contact with me, how he was speaking, how emotions emanated from him... There was something appealing about it.

“You are a great friend, you know?” The bard frowned, his sarcasm almost flowing from his words.

“The one that saved your ass more than once from your little loves’ husbands.

“How dare you compare my admiration for this goddess to the moment when I let myself be wrapped up in the bonds of married women!”

“Hmm.”

This was the end of the dispute. And very good because it was starting to tire me out. Although at the same time it amused me. Only a slight prick in the heart at the thought that these silver lips told other women the same fairy tales they are now trying to charm me with.

But I gave the my charms to the two who followed me, I gave it to so many unworthy ones. So I wasn't better at all.

I sighed heavily, stopping on the path and looking down at my skirt, which hooked on the branches of the bushes and the crap lying on the ground. With unnecessary irritation I started to untie the apron and then hold the skirt with the corset. Fortunately this dress was two-piece. And fortunately I usually wore pants under the skirt.

But the gentlemen did not know this.

“Lady Y/N!” Jaskier's scream sounded worried. Although I did not immediately understand why. I froze with my skirt down to my knees. “But...”

Bard ran to me in a few seconds just to stop in amazement. He scanned me from top to bottom, then froze, looking at my hands as they lowered the material downwards. Without waiting, I allowed myself to finish getting rid of this unnecessary scrap of material. Then I smiled cheekily.

"Is a poor, noble knight afraid that I have gone crazy and am exposing myself in the middle of the forest?"

“No... Yes… I mean” Jaskier lost his beautiful words and his cheeks turned slightly pink.

"But I think that the nasty side of this bard hoped for that to happen. And don't call me a lady or a goddess or anything like that. I'm just an innkeeper.”

"It's not right to call the sun just a lighting and the ocean just a puddle," he protested.

I sighed. But not so hard. Not with so much irritation anymore.

“You don't call a mare a steed and daisy is not a rose.”

"But sometimes the daisy is more graceful than a rose, so why wouldn't I have the right to give her honour by lifting it higher than a rose?"

I bit my lip, though my mind told me to fight again, my heart whispered to let him win. After all, he will soon disappear forever from my life and I won't have to worry about it. Nor about his blue eyes that had colour of the sky before the storm. Nor his melodious voice, which sang words so wonderfully in my praise. Or that smile... Or... Oh.

I realized that I stood silently right in front of him, my face centimetres from his own. Eyes fixed on his pink lips. Zero answers from my mouth. For what mistakes, oh Chaos?

“Are you done?” Geralt asked, overtaking us with his slow walk and heading further into the forest.

I rolled my eyes.

“Not a lady or a goddess. Do you understand, bard? Think of something better. I am closer to a warrior than a court lady” I replied without hostility, motioning my head to the bard to follow me.

His face beamed. As if he were a small child that someone just praised for drawing with a stick in the sand.

"And you can call me Jaskier, Sir Y/N," he replied with a smile, levelling his steps with mine.

“I'm not a knight, Jaskier.”

"You could be for me," he said, and after casting an playful look at me, he accelerated a little.


	2. Show Jaskier where it hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some monster hunting and... stuff.  
> Especially STUFF

Before we found Vucodlak, to whom I led them, the sun had already hidden behind the horizon. It meant for me no less, no more, that I made the final decision. There was no going back to the inn for me. Not like to work at least. I have failed too many times as a waitress for the owner to forgive me for disappearing for the entire evening and night when the traffic was the biggest.

Perhaps it was a turning point in my life. When I finally reach for my dreams and set off into the world with a sword in my hand. If I dare.

But first I had to survive that night.

Vucodlak was a disgusting beast. Although probably all the beasts were. Until now I have seen just few of them and they were only dead ones, so I wasn't sure. Nevertheless, the one here made a terrible impression. But I felt excitement instead of fear. Alright. Fear and excitement.

The blood was buzzing in me, my heart was pounding, the adrenaline was pushing me into action. Although Geralt ordered me to stay out of the way. He didn't forbid me to act. It was just a suggestion for safety. As suggestion for Jaskier that he should stay as far as possible and not get under Witcher’s feet.

Only that the bard did not listen and I was sure that this was not a common phenomenon when it came to similar events. He looked stressed out. But strangely not terrified, as I expected.

“Shouldn't you hide somewhere?” I asked when I felt his hand on my shoulder.

“When a woman practically rushes to fight? I feel obliged to tell my brave knight to be careful. Even Geralt has problems with these abominations.”

"And you collect song materials from a safe distance, princess?"

“Sometimes even more than safe. And sometimes from the very center of events, because Geralt spares details.”

At these words I smiled to myself and looked at him out of the corner of my eye.

“Sorry, princess. But I can't wait for life to happen by itself. I need it.”

"Yes," I still heard him say when I was throwing myself at the monster. “You need it, but what I try to give you, too.”

I don't know how much I really heard it, and how much of it I told myself. Everything else happened too quickly for me to think about it any longer. It didn't matter anyway. I focused on my own blade sticking into the monster's grey skin and on Geralt's instructions, which he shouted at me.

Maybe I wasn't doing very well, Vukodlak managed to throw me, scratch me, bite me, hit me a few times. But it also seemed that I did not hinder the Witcher from doing his work. I did not create a situation where he would have to save me, I did not get under his feet, I did not interfere with blows and attacks. I was rather out of the way. Hardly, barely within the range of the beast's movements, attacking itself only when such an opportunity arose.

It wasn't a perfect fight. I did much less damage to the monster than it did to me. I moved rather average, the sword did not always behave as I wanted. And yet it was a fight, not jumping from posture to posture and waving metal between the trees, as it usually was in my case.

Finally, the Witcher took Vucodlak's head off and, stuffing it on a stick, began to prepare the necessary rituals. In the meantime I sat on the ground and was panting heavily. Dropping the sword at my side, leaning my arms from behind, I stuck my face out into the dark sky. Blood and sweat ran down my body in the least pleasant places.

I don't even know when or where but Jaskier sat cross-legged next to me and wiped my forehead with a handkerchief. He didn't interrupt when I opened my eyes. Although I could easily be angry that he even dared to touch me.

"Stop it," I only asked, and he froze with his hand above my forehead.

"But I am helping you," he replied, not understanding.

I smiled gently at him. I was happy. Finally, I felt alive and in the right place. I no longer felt the need to get mad at him. In fact, he was definitely better than all the guys I've had so far.

“It's not like that, princess. I don't like being touched on the face” I explained.

At this the bard laughed honestly and moved a little bit closer.

"You are extremely dirty and stinking, my knight. If you want to receive a gift from me for your bravery, you must let me wipe your pretty face.”

Bard shifted his position and was now kneeling at my side, leaning over my bent head. His face was again just centimetres away from my own. He definitely wanted things to happen too quickly. But tomorrow each of us will follow the path of our lives. And so I played with him much longer than with those whom I treated less seriously than him. Did he not deserve this for his beautiful song, the sweet words that hurt me with their kindness and tenderness?

"Or I can wipe it myself," I said, biting my lower lip.

“Are you all right, Y/N?” Geralt came back to us for a moment, which prompted the bard to move away from me. And then I regretted not letting him the little thing he asked for.

"I'll survive," I said.

“The fact that you survive the fight with the monster never means that the monster will not kill you” with these words he tossed a small bottle to Jaskier.

“For each bite and laceration. Just in case” the Witcher ordered and returned to grooming Vucolak.

I blinked several times, dumbfounded Geralt's attitude. This care and firmness. So he didn't want to have a random innkeeper on his conscience. And I thought that it didn't matter to him. But why didn't he give the vial to me instead of lovely bard? Now that fool was smiling at me as brazenly as if something great was about to happen.

"Looks like I need to take care of you, knight."

"Could you call me by my name, princess?"

"Oh, Y/N, you hurt me with your tone," he replied sweetly, moving closer again. “Come on. Show Jaskier where it hurts.”

I laughed and shook my head, extending my scratched arm. This also ended the laughter because Jaskier started the task with seriousness and delicacy. The touch of his fingers on my skin was an unexpectedly pleasant experience. And amazingly... Exciting. To the extent that my gaze was fixed on his face and my breathing stopped at times. Especially when he applied ointment to the bite on my neck.

He hesitated then. For a few seconds I was shivering about what might happen next. Although I knew full well that we were in the middle of the forest with Geralt framing Vucolak's body and nothing could happen.

"Jaskier..." I said in a whisper. His touch disappeared from my skin. “Can I... Can I finish it myself?” I asked, afraid that a while more and I would not be able to refrain from begging him for something more.

Without a word, he handed me the bottle and sat down. He sat next to me, grabbing his instrument in hands as I started to finish what he had started. This time his fingers caressed the strings extracting a beautiful melody from them. The one I've already fallen in love with.

_You scared and that's right_

_You long her love_

_Go away if you want to stay alive_

_Queen's love is not your song_

_She's brave lady knight_

_There's fire in her heart_

_Her love is like a fight_

_This crushes me apart_

_Oh let her be mine_

_Oh let her be mine_

I looked up from my own wounds and smiled at him. He was still playing the same melody, but no words left his mouth. The sad expression on his face eventually melted my soul.

_Maybe there's fire in her eyes_

_Her heart may be cold_

_But with your advice_

_She will be bold_

_Cause she's brave lady knight_

_Now there's fire in her heart_

_Her love is now like a fight_

_Don't you, my love, crush apart_

_Oh now she is mine_

_Oh now she is mine_

I sang another verse. Very slowly, constantly thinking about words. It was not easy. Fortunately, Jaskier quickly realized what I was doing and slowed down with the music. He also helped me with some words. Nevertheless, the message came from me. If it was to be a song inspired by our meeting, I couldn't let it present me in such a tragic light, could I? That was the only thing...

Jaskier was just about to say something but I put a finger to his lips. At what the bard winced because my hands were still in mud, blood and sweat, as well as in the disgusting Witcher's ointment. That's why I gave him a comforting smile.

"Don't let the song fuddle your brain, princess. I just don't agree to be portrayed in the song as that awful cold bitch,” I said, pulling my finger from his lips. Now I was kneeling beside him.

Bard needed no more encouragement. He caught me in the waist and moved me closer. He apparently forgot for a moment how dirty I was and how clean he was. He brushed my h/c hair behind my ear and his face was once more centimetres from mine.

“Does it go so easily with everyone?” I asked, completely softening in his arms. I didn't care about the answer. I didn't care that a few hours ago I was ready to hate him. Now all I wanted was to kiss him. Passionately and senseless. Before he leaves with the Witcher and I'll lose this chance forever.

"Oh shut up, you stubborn woman," he said and kissed me so that I wouldn't speak.

He tasted a nasty ointment, blood, mud, sweat... But also raspberries, spring, honey and the ocean. I liked this mix of flavours. I quickly lost myself in it, grabbing the face of my princess in my hands.

When we finally broke away, I couldn't help laughing.

“Very funny, knight. You stained me,”Jaskier said lightly, wiping my chin and lower lip with his thumb.

A shiver went through my whole body.

“Not here,” That was all I could say. And he just smiled sadly, as if to tell me that this was the end.

“Geralt?” His eyes were still on mine, but that didn't stop him from addressing the Witcher. “Are we coming back yet?”

“Yes. To the mayor with this and for money. And then on the way.”

Bard tilted his head gently, sadness in his eyes and on his lips. He put his right hand on my face and kissed my forehead. Then he got up and also helped me up.

So it was over. Just like that. When my heart was just beginning to burn for him.

“Where are you going?” I asked with a lump in my throat.

"Ahead, brave knight," replied the bard, holding my hand as we started our slow march back.

We walked in silence for some time. Me and the bard, Geralt with a monster's body swung over his shoulder. I tried to enjoy this moment and at the same time I regretted that I could not bear the moment of tension. If I had not surrendered to Jaskier, I would not regret it so much now that they must leave.

“Where did you learn to fight?” Geralt suddenly asked.

"Here and there," I said. “From boys, from men. From everyone who was ready to teach me. I trained a lot alone.”

“Your footwork is not tragic. You also take some attitudes correctly. You can't handle the sword yet, but I could... I could teach you a few things.”

I felt Jaskier's hand tighten on mine but the bard didn't even look at me. His blue eyes were fixed on the Witcher. I followed his example.

"But... It would mean I have to go with you," I stammered.

"If you'd rather stay here..." Geralt replied.

“No. There is nothing here for me. Choosing the monster in the woods I was aware that I am losing my job at the inn. Anyway, I have long dreamed of escaping...”

“I can't guarantee that Jaskier won't frighten you but you can accompany us as long as you want. Only for some time but you can.”

My lips bent the sincerest smile in years. Travel, learn combat, allow yourself an affair with a bard, even if it will be short and end painfully.

“Ha! But I guarantee that I won't scare my knight.”

"I don't know if I can believe you, princess," I said. “But yes. I am happy to set out with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! <3   
> I will appreciate even short "aww", "yes", "nice" or whatever.   
> If you didn't like it say it too! In order to get better I have to know!   
> And welp. The good times I would say. But what is about to come...   
> You'll find out with the next chapter!


	3. Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some drama cause it was too sweet till now...  
> Don't worry tho

I rubbed my tired face with my hands. I leaned against a stone bowl and looked into my own reflection in a small mirror. I saw a tired woman there. Dark circles under the eyes, greasy h/c hair that surrounded my face. This is not how the dream come true should look like. Definitely not.

I forced myself to move. I wandered thoughtlessly to a small bed, on which I threw myself limply. My body screamed in pain but I had a rumbling hollow in my head. In my heart too.

It's been a week since I left my homeland. Seven damn days since I ran away from work at the inn, from the mother witch visiting home from time to time to remind me of my mistakes. As if new, magical family wasn't enough for her.

I sighed quietly, rolling over and pulling my legs up. I knew well that sleep would not come, though my eyelids were heavy like stones. It was a bad day and the nights following such days were truly nightmarish. Full of tears, fear and self-struggle. And during them I usually didn't have a working sword at hand... Yes, Geralt got me a good weapon instead of the rusty junk after my father. Only at that moment this wonderful sword became a threat to me.

I haven't had an attack yet since I went with Geralt and Jaskier. I didn't have enough time to think about my own suffering. But it quietly grew inside me and began to claim its own. For completely different reasons than ever before.

I used to shed tons of tears afraid of being stuck in a small tavern on the edge of the world forever. Now... Now my biggest problem was a man. A man who was stranger to me, whom I was stranger to. And yet we belonged to each other. Although Jaskier did not care at all about this fact and while holding my hand in his, he flirted with others. He was my first relationship that didn't end after the first night. And it definitely wasn't what I needed. And for him I was just another romance.

The door of my room squeaked softly. Of course he would choose the least appropriate moment to visit me. And that meant I had to put myself back together because it would all end in an argument again. But I couldn't even get up to a sitting position. I closed my eyes tightly, dreaming that his hands would never land on my skin.

And I felt it. His soft fingertips on my shoulder. Immediately afterwards, in the same place, Jaskier placed a short, wet kiss.

"No..." I whispered.

“Did I do something wrong again?” He asked humbly, apparently ready to apologize to receive a little tenderness.

“No. Yes? No...” I didn't know what to say to him. He didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't his fault that I expected something different. I wasn't perfect either. Instead of loving him with all my heart I preferred to love steel, fight and blood. He reminded me of it as often as I did admonished him about giving me too much complements.

"Will those e/c eyes look favourably on me today?" He whispered, placing his chin on my shoulder.

I felt tears running down my cheeks.

"Hey..." His voice sounded exceptionally natural. It wasn't sugary, it wasn't frivolous, it wasn't melodious. Normal. Rareness for Jaskier. “What's happening? Talk to me…”

"Jaskier... I think we made a mistake," I said without lifting my eyelids.

"Oh..." he sighed. "I was afraid of the moment you would come to that conclusion. Geralt said it would happen. That I'm not what you need...” His words were full of sadness. It was one of those short moments when I understood why I agreed to this arrangement. There was something about him that I could love. However, it was too rare for this relationship to have a right to exist. It's hard to even call it a reletionship. "But refrain from saying it," he asked and kissed my shoulder. “I'll try to keep my distance. Let Geralt train you a little more... And then...”

“I'll leave “ this word slipped out of my mouth. I did not think about this solution at all. It wasn't that bad for me with them.

“If you want to.”

There was silence.

“Can I lie with you?” He asked.

I agreed.

*

I did not leave at all. I just kept my distance from Jaskier. Focusing on practise, sword work, leg work, work on positions, methods of fighting. Which helped me breathe a bit. I didn't feel so overwhelmed anymore. Nevertheless, I became quieter and backed down myself.

Jaskier also kept his word. He devoted all his attention to writing more songs and adoring everyone else. He did not refrain from throwing compliments at me. He just didn't impose himself. He flirted a little more carefully with me, but he still did.

This is how the weeks went by and they began to change into months.

I was just training with the Witcher when the bard crouched nearby on a stone and stared at me. I felt it painfully because instead of my own movement I began to focus on Jaskier's distracting glances. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that he was smiling.

Geralt slammed his sword against my stomach, forcing me to step back and bend in half. Finally, he shook his head disapprovingly.

"Focus," he instructed me so I hissed quietly and, throwing my own weapon aside, quickly approached the bard.

“Why are you smiling so silly, Jaskier? Could you finally leave my ass alone?” I snapped, a little too aggressively.

“Will you forbid me to admire the beauty? You know what... I'm going to sing your song today... "Brave lady knight," he announced in a dreamy tone, staring at me as if at the greatest wonder of the world.

"You're crazy," I said. "And you were not to make butter eyes to me," I added, moving away from him. Although I still turned over my shoulder to check his reaction. He seemed a little embarrassed and scared.

The Witcher nodded slowly when I returned to my place, correctly staking chosen position, with the weapon in my hand, of course. I felt he was pleased with the progress I was making. During our battles he allowed himself to do more and more, and I felt my muscles were developing. Although it always hurt like hell at the end.

We started our dangerous dance. Attack, defence, lunge, dodge, cut. Sweat ran down my temple. Breath accelerated. Crouching, side attack, blockade, walking out. I felt alive. One, two, three. One, two, three. Finally, the end of Geralt’s blade landed on my neck. Panting with fatigue, I bowed my head in surrender.

“You did well” That was all he said. He put his sword down and sat on the stone, where I had seen Jaskier before. Only then did I realize that the bard was no longer there. So I sat down next to the Witcher, hiding my face in my hands. "You two are going to finish each other," Geralt said, and I looked up at him.

“Can't he be my friend?” I asked sadly and quickly regretted it. Geralt was not a person who deserved to listen to my moaning. Especially on such a case.

“I think he is falling in love with you all over again, Y/N.”

"Isn't all the admirers he wins every day enough for him? I can't be one of them. And I can't be with him. I'm not so open to stick to a man who falls in love with everyone over and over again.”

“Hmmmm.”

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't bother you. But he expects something from me that I can't give him.”

“You must understand what will make you happy before you try to make someone else happy,” said Geralt and stood up. “I'm going to wash.”

"Good plan," I nodded with a faint smile. “I'll sit here a little longer.”

I did as I said. Geralt disappeared into the inn and I continued to sit on the stone. I tried to focus on my own breath but my thoughts were still running in the wrong direction. I closed my eyes and saw Jaskier's insolent smile under my eyelids. It made me angry. So much more angry than it should have.

So I got up and returned to the inn where we were staying.

The main hall was full of people. Everyone laughed out loud, yelled at one another, sang... Yes. Sang. And I knew this melody. My heart trembled at its sound, my anger vanished. I looked around.

Geralt wasn't there, he was probably just taking the bath. But Jaskier were there. He stood nonchalantly in a chair with a lute in his hands. His fingers caressed the strings as they used to caress my skin. His pink lips gently arranged into the right figures and an angel's voice came from the larynx. But something was wrong. Very wrong. Words... They. They didn't fit.

It was probably the third verse. It should be the saddest, it should express the depth of unrequited love, which in the fourth verse finds its reciprocity. Only... It didn't happen. He didn't sing about it.

_You scared and that's right_

_You long her mercy_

_There is no chance to stay alive_

_War is cruel but let her see..._

_She's brave lady knight_

_There's fire for a start_

_She is an endless fight_

_Can crush the Hell apart_

_Oh let her rule the world_

_Oh let her rule the world_

_There's fire in her eyes_

_Her heart is very cold_

_Won't lisen to your cries_

_All she cares is gold_

_Cause she's brave lady knight_

_There's fire for a start_

_She is an endless fight_

_Can crush the Hell apart_

_Oh let her rule the world_

_Oh let her rule the world_

I couldn't stand it. How dare he How dare he change the song about me to a song about soulless war? It wasn't my song. No.

With tears welling in my eyes, I pushed my way through the crowd, reaching the chair where Jaskier stood. Without thinking, in response to his smile towards me, I pushed him. Bard landed on the floor with a rumble, taking care of the lute in his hands. I could read shock, fear, surprise and pain from the look on his face. His damn sadness again. He always got sad when he looked at me. Was I so regrettable?

I don't know how the people around us reacted. I didn't care. I picked up Jaskier by the flaps of his blue vest and pinned him to the wall. I couldn't hold back my tears any longer.

"What..." he could barely make it out before I slapped him.

“How dare you?!” I screamed. “You're the worst man I've ever met. I have never felt as humiliated as because of you. Egocentric talentless shit that craves eternal approval and adoration. You are nothing, do you hear Jaskier?! Nothing!”

"It's probably a bit exaggeration," he whispered back, rubbing his sore cheek.

This time I punched him with my fist in the nose. And in the teeth. Before I knew it, he was kneeling on the wooden floor, blood was dripping from his face and two people were holding me back. I jerked them away and left the room. I don't know if the owner told me to leave or if it was my own idea. All I know is that I got to the room we rented, I gathered my things without a word, being closely watched by Geralt, who was drying his hair.

Before I could leave, Jaskier appeared. He stood in the doorway, applying a bloody rag to his face. He looked terrible, but I didn't feel guilty.

“I think we must gather, Geralt,” he mumbled barely. “They don't want to see our lovely companion here anymore.”

"No," I snapped. “You're not getting anywhere, asshole. I'm leaving.”

“Hmmm,” That was all I heard from Geralt so I turned to him with tears in my eyes. Was that all he had to say? My mentor, teacher... friend. No. I was fooled by both of them. I was still nobody. For them, for the world.

"I'm glad you don't mind," I added, moving toward the exit, but Jaskier blocked them with his hand, looking at me with blunt eyes.

"Let's talk," he said. “Let's explain it. You don't have to leave.”

My heart broke again. He didn't even notice his guilt. He thought I could just stay. Why did he care?

“I wasn't imposing myself...”

“Let her go, Jaskier. Because she'll beat you again. And then I will have no choice and will hurt her too... “ It wasn't until these last words that the bard stepped back, looking at the Witcher this time. He was so sad again. “That will be better. Y/N have to understand what she needs and wants. I hope that her path will be light.”

"How nice of you," I snapped and left.

“Until the next meeting, my friend,” Geralt said after me, but I didn't listen to him anymore. I just wanted to get away from it all as far as possible. And from myself.

It was so, so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAA. Yeah. Some angst and drama, pardon me.  
> Things will get better. But those two are idiots who don't know how to love each other yet....


	4. Second first impression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the years has past. But Destiny has plans for some certain two souls that can't forget one another.

The sun was breaking into the small room despite the drawn curtains. The rays found a narrow gap between the curtains, and a way further, straight to my face. Grimaces and upheavals did nothing. Sleep managed to escape from under my eyelids. Although I didn't give up for a long time, still staying in bed, I knew that my body would rebel against it quickly. Weeks, months that later turned into years... Every day, training and travel, training and fight, training and any physical exertion. Now my muscles demanded this.

Especially after almost a week of rest related to the treatment of nasty wounds after my last unpleasant adventure. At the thought of which I smiled anyway. It was all over, I lived, others endangered by the event lived too, the wounds healed, life calmed down. It was time to move on.

Finally, I rose to a sitting position and looked at the person sharing the room with me. With a smile on my lips, I went to the second bed and sat on its edge. I tapped the linen-covered silhouette on the shoulder.

“Time to get up, I will continue my journey today. Will you do me the  honor and say goodbye?”

“YHYYYYMMPPHHYYYYMMM” was the only sound that came from among the pillows.

“Monica! I'm not kidding, I'm going down to have breakfast and I'm on my way.”

“You are abnormal” I heard in response. “It's an inhuman hour. As always with you on the go. What for are you in such a hurry forever? Once I meet someone who taught you this, I think I'll kill them.”

“I hurry to the adventure!” I said cheerfully. "And you have a rather small chance of getting to know these crazy people," I said, kissed her forehead and headed for the door.

"I'll be right there for you," Monica said before I left the room. It was unlikely that she could even get up and get dressed before I finished my meal. But at least she'll be up when I get back to her and say goodbye.

This time I couldn't postpone it. The road was already calling me, the smell of adventure was in the air... Though it could be the fried onion from the inn's kitchen. These two fragrances are easily confused.

Good half an hour later I stood with my friend and the greatest travel companion in front of the stable. It was hard to leave her so instead of grooming my horse, I leaned on a pole of one of the boxes and listened to her story. It was about this city. The strange city that caused us a lot of trouble.

“And you know what he said to me? That I can only dream of such a pay. Fucking unbelievers. Men probably will never come to terms with the existence of strong women who can earn better than them.”

I just laughed in response, completely agreeing with my friend. Especially since my own experience was a book example of her statement. There was a time when no one cared about my warrior potential. They made me an innkeeper. Then, thanks to the kindness of a certain Witcher, I trained my fighting skills and did not have to ask anyone for their opinion anymore . Steel dispelled all male doubts. Although it wasn’t that easy with the income . People preferred to hire men for guards, trackers, guides and killers. Ever since I separated myself from Geralt and his silly bard... and... and... I lost the thread. Yes . Earning problems.  Never mind . 

"But that's not the most important thing," Monica went on.  “ The point  is this idiot  told me something  c urious . It turns out that t here is a strange creature  t h a t b o t h e r s t h e m regularly enough. They can't beat it or track it down.  So you could ... ”

"Are you trying to persuade me to stay in this nasty city?" I asked, crossing my arms and raising one eyebrow.

“ You know, maybe by the time you settle this case I will fuck it all and go with you. Seriously, a penny will be useful to you. It's always worth checking, maybe this imbecile was  just  talking nonsense. ”

I nodded slowly. It is true that  I would not despise money. Idle bedding did not bring them to me and paying for medications only relieved my purse. ”

"It's not a stupid idea," I admitted.  “ Are you coming with me or  you busy? ”

“I can walk with you. I'm not going anywhere on your stupid horse. Come. It's not far, you'll come back for Kelpie later.”

I agreed without a word and followed Monica. Meanwhile, at the other end of the square, a large crowd began to gather. My hand rested intuitively on the sword hilt at my waist and my eyes keep returning to that place. Something must have been happening. Although I had no idea what could have caught the attention of the inhabitants of this unusual place.

My companion looked that way only once and barely muttered something under her breath in disapproval. I considered this a good sign to ignore the community. Especially since it soon disappeared from our sight. And as far as hearing is concerned... When I heard some familiar tones of a long-forgotten ballad I was sure that it was only my head playing tricks on me. Because it was not possible...

*

The old cottage on the outskirts did not look good. And now there were these stories of a strange creature overlapping a field and stables at its back. People ran away as far as possible. At the same  time, they were trying to set traps and bogey for an unknown creature. It all looked funny to me. Especially since I've had some interesting experiences related to monsters. The real ones and those only so-called by people.

"Stay away from it, miss. This is nothing good, especially not for a woman.”

"You must have overlooked the silver on my belt," I said, sending the man a friendly wink. Internally however, I wanted to  scream, and I'd love to  punch him in his nose. With  my elbow. One look at Monica and I knew she was feeling the same. " Will you accompany  me, or it  doesn't turn you on anymore?" I asked her.

“For the time being, I can hang out with you, but I will not lose my sleep for it.”

"You don't know what fun is," I said defiantly, then turned back to the man.  “If I do bring you the head of what plagues you so much, will you pay me? Because I don't want to waste time for nothing. ”

"If you survive and kill the damn thing, of course you'll get your coins, miss. 100 coins. ”

“ 150\. And don't call me miss. ”

I was about to shake hands with this terrified man when someone interrupted us. A young boy saying  there is another eager to kill a monster. At this point, I knew I didn't have a moment to lose if I wanted to earn.  So I left the distracted man and went with my friend to the back of the hut.

"Another eager," Monica repeated. “I don't think I recall such situation.”

"Because you didn't accompany me during every quest," I said. “All sorts of men love to bite me out of work. I even ran into the  Witchers twice. It seems that  the fucking  few that  is last of them still somehow can take my job anyway. ”

“ Maybe it's  for the  better. ”

“For the b etter? ”

“ Not every monster is up to you. Have you already forgotten about your weekly spa? ”

At this remark, my hand subconsciously touched the scar on the left side. The latest souvenir for the collection. A very unpleasant wound. I almost ble e d out because of it ... Occupational risk. What a man can do for the thrill of adrenaline.

“Oh no. I recognize this look and don't want to hear it,” Monica said, and overtook me a little.

I caught up with her in a few quick steps. I stopped the comment that came to my lips and decided on a completely different one.

“Watch out, there are a lot of coarse traps here.”

I barely said it and then I hung with my head down. My ankle got stuck in a metal snare that the bizarre structure pulled up as soon as it caught something. So not enough that the silver spikes stuck into the flesh of my leg, it was all going to my head.

What more, my friend's face looked hilarious from this perspective.

“And you  patronize me? ” Monica laughed.

However, fucking Destiny or other damn thing  decided it wasn't humiliating enough for me. It was at that moment that we were caught up with the  aforementioned other eager to slaughter the monster.

Before I could see anything through the half of my coat that was falling through my head, I heard that laugh. That damn sweet laugh. It's so typical  ooooh ho  ho . And I didn't know if I was red because of my position or because of the memories that immediately flooded me. After all, I never felt the way I did with that stupid bard.

"I didn't know that women's ways of catching haunts are so interesting," a melodious voice snappe d, and I was glad that I was hanging back to them and they had no right to see my face. Still, I hid  it in my hands.

“ Jaskier ” Ah, yes. This deep, low hum, this tone of voice was unique.

"And I didn't know that gentlemen preferred to make fun of women instead of helping them," Monica said. I was eager to poke her. She must have heard the name Geralt uttered, she must have realized who she was facing. After all, I told her a little about them... Saving some significant flavours, it's true. Saving her all the affair that ended as soon as it began. But what was to be expected?  Jaskier , who could not maintain his relationships and I could not enter any relationship. It had to end in a tragedy. Anyway, it all happened too quickly...

“But I'm just saying that I would certainly let myself be caught in for such views” I had the impression that I almost physically feel his look on my own ass. Nothing has changed at all.

Meanwhile, someone silently cut off the rope holding that fucking trap with me in the air. So Geralt took pity on me. Though no one helped ease my fall.

Immediately however, I felt these delicate hands on me, which tried to help me get to my feet completely. Of course, I rejected them immediately. Oh no. It's long over. Although a huge part of me missed this touch. Could I let him... No. I've been through this once. Never again.

" Y/N ..."  Jaskier was the first to spot me in a pile of limbs and rags. His huge blue eyes stared at me in shock. Yeah. Years have passed.

“Hmmm” Geralt didn't even boast about saying my name.

Two men who I owed everything to. Good and bad. The greatest happiness and misfortune in my life. Now they stood over me, almost like after that first memorable fight. Back then it was probably a  Vucodlak . Although better than a monster I remember  Jaskier dressing my wounds and singing a ballad about me...

Then I heard that ballad sung in taverns. Completely different than its original outline. Not so beautiful, not so... emotional.

I snorted softly, leaning on Monica. My right ankle was still in the grip of the silver jaws.  Damn it. 

“Geralt do something, help her” Jaskier gave the Witcher an urgent look, then timidly found mine. But I couldn't take it long and I looked down quickly. Bard was obviously disappointed.

Meanwhile, the Witcher put me down and carefully got rid of the trap from my leg. It did not cause him any difficulty. I could do it myself. Were it not for the fact that the trap was on me.

"And just as you barely recovered, you'll end up at the doctor again," Monica commented, offering me her arm.

"No bloody medic," I snapped sharply. "I won't stay in this city for a minute longer than necessary. Anyway, you don't see that in the race for who will kill the monster first we have a famous competition? Monica meet Geralt and  Jaskier . Geralt is, of course, the great, terrible Witcher, from which you will not hear more than unpleasant  _ hmmm _ . And the second one, the bright idiot is a bard who tires the whole world with his music ”  I hissed unfriendly.

"Ho, ho, ho," Monica held me in place, raising her eyebrows in surprise. Okay, I admit, I got  bit  too far .  “ Gentlemen do not make faces, usually she s peaks about you rather warmly. I don't know what  just happened. ”

"It's a bad day,"  Jaskier said gently.  “ But she is a good woman. O nly had bad experience with men... ”

“There is no chance to stay alive. War is cruel but let her see...  “ I replied, still aggressively but coming off a bit. Although in this case the words had to play their role, because  Jaskier blushed and scratched his neck, escaping my gaze.

"Hope yo u are not mad ..."

"I  am ," I replied only with a forced smile.  “ It was about me, wasn't it? ”

“ About you? ” Monica asked, clearly associating the song in question.  “ How is it that you never mentioned it before? And you  definitely missed an emotional thread telling me about your adventures with these two, because the tension is tangible here. ”

I didn't answer my friend. I just stared furiously into  Jaskier's blue eyes. How did everything go so wrong between us? After all, my heart was beating faster for him even now, my body was pulling to his shoulders.

“We will share the money with you. For the beast,” Geralt said, breaking the embarrassing silence that had come. “Just don't push yourself into fight with this leg.”

"Generous as always," I snorted. “We'll go with you anyway. For  certainty .”

I wasn't sure if it had been tru e but for a  moment I had the impression that the Witcher smiled. This grimace looked almost unnatural on his face. I have already forgotten that  it could happened.

“I didn't expect anything else.”

"Ah, what a pleasant meeting after years," I concluded sarcastically.

"You still have the talent to make a great first impression,"  Jaskier said, trying to smile. And that caught my attention. I didn't remember him this way. He said little, did not  coquet , not much  anyway ...  There was not that much of him in this whole incident. Why?

"And eye-catching ass," I said, giving him a smile. Maybe not the most honest, maybe not without a mockery note, but I tried. In the end, I was not without guilt for how everything went between us.  That means very badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it! Let me know what you think :> I have much more planned for the future ;) <3


	5. Friends, nothing more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brave princess wants to talk with wounded knigt.  
> So the knight agrees. And what then?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for me to post next chapter.  
> Hope you will forgive me <3   
> To make it up to you I promise next one will be even longer!

We found nothing but traps in the vicinity of the hut and stable. Finally, all four of us went to the forest. Although it was beginning to dusk, Monica was determined not to leave me alone with the Witcher and bard. I couldn't blame her after what show I made to greet my old friends.

“Where does all this tension and unpleasant atmosphere come from?” She asked me in a whisper when we were in the right distance from the men. All the smallest expressions of my romantic life have always been of great interest to people close to me. That's why I didn't tell anyone about Jaskier in this context. Anyway, such a story could damage my reputation as a mean bitch who can't fall in love. Well, although maybe I'm exaggerating, because there was no lack of interest in men in my life. Only… I felt that it was different with Jaskier and that if I told someone about it, then such a person would have guessed it too.

"A long story," I said barely, not wanting to delve into the subject. Rightly so, because at the same time the blue-eyed bard looked over his shoulder and slowed down to catch up with us. “Poor Geralt, you abandon him this way” I said when Jaskier was at my left side.

He didn't answer me that. No beautiful words came from his lips. Just a sad, longing look. I felt stupid because maybe this comment really touched him... No. The stinging tangles always flowed down him. Only those about his singing could really hurt Jaskier.

Even when I was a few meters behind I heard the Witcher grunt significantly. Immediately Geralt looked at us, giving Jaskier a strange look. Unfortunately, I was not able to decipher this incident. So I remained silent. Monica did not speak either, but from time to time she gave me curious glances. Oh Chaos, what they all meant.

Recently, fate really wanted to bother me.

"I could be of some use and unload you for a while, lady Monica. Our brave, wounded knight will probably survive my company knowing that you will get a moment of well deserved breath.”

My eyes opened wide, my mouth was already opening to scold the insolent bard, but then I felt a stir from my friend's side. I didn't doubt her strength but I put a lot of weight on her to be able to move at all. Even if she would deny it, it was tiring. So I bit my tongue and looked down. The decision belonged to her.

"I wouldn't despise a moment of break for my own back," Monica said, looking at me for a reaction. I only gave her a full understanding smile and as Jaskier came closer I leaned on his shoulder, freeing my friend.

It got even more awkward. Especially when Monica after a short exchange of glances with the bard accelerated the pace and caught up with the Witcher. I decided to focus on her so as not to feel so painfully close to Jaskier. Stupid feelings.

After a while of walk in silence Monica spoke to Geralt. I didn't hear what she asked him but the Witcher turned to her and clearly replied. Their conversation then went on. Easy, slow, but still. I wasn't even surprised that much. Knowing them both I could expect them to get along quite well. Just... Eh. It left me with him. With my arm slung around his neck, my body pressed against him, his hand on my waist. O don’t remember last time when physical contact embarrassed me so much.

"Is there even the slightest chance we'll talk about it, knight?" The bard asked finally, his words heavy in the air. He used the term again. He called me his knight and this involuntarily brought back good memories.

"But what, princess? I think the matter is very clear.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that he smiled sadly.

"And yet you are still mad at me when I cannot be mad at you."

“You can't be mad at any woman, Jaskier. Well, except maybe for Yennefer.”

"But... you're doing it again, as always. You don't even give me a chance to be just for you.”

“Oh please, don't make me laugh. You can't be exclusive. You are like a puppy who falls in love with everyone it sees. And that's why I have no right to be angry. This is your nature. As it is in my nature, not to be in a close relationship with anyone for too long.”

The bard sighed heavily at those words. And that hurt me more than anything he could say. Why was he so… not him? Could our relationship torment him so much that he stopped being himself? Anyway, what was I really angry about... about the song he changed? For a declaration of love that fell from his lips after a few days of acquaintance? For ballads, flowers, poems, words, shyness, patience and tenderness? That he didn't give us time to slowly fall in love with each other? I wasn't sure anymore.

I rolled my eyes. After all, I could be a bit nicer, I could give us a chance to become friends. Despite all our mistakes.

"I can't vouch for myself, princess, but if you take me seriously, maybe this friendship is still possible," I said without looking into his eyes.

The reaction was immediate. His head rose more proudly, sparks danced in his eyes, his hand trembled on my waist. He was like a child.

“You don't even know how happy I am. I miss your company when traveling with Geralt.”

“You lack verbal skirmishes, conversations in general or the possibility of putting a hand on someone whenever you think you need it? I asked mischievously, but with a smile.”

“All of the above.”

For that I was only able to shake my head.

*

We returned to the village in the middle of the night. For all of us, except Geralt, it was just a pleasant walk. The Witcher was returning with a monstrous shard in his hand. It wasn't a difficult skirmish for him but I still hurt that I couldn't join him in the fight. Anyway, I was ready to do it, but Dandelion and Monica successfully got the idea out of my mind.

Before I could even think about it, Geralt gave me half the price for the slaughtered monster. Then all four of us found ourselves in the inn, which I hoped to never see her again. We paid for two rooms and we gladly went to sleep.

The next day I was woken by a joyful knock on the door. I immediately pulled the pillow over my head, stifling it with a groan that escaped from my own mouth. The barley made truce was enough for Jaskier to get into my and Monica’s room in the morning. I remembered all too well when each of my wake-ups looked like this. Bard perching on my bed and playing some happy tune on his lute.

"And I met the guilty of your habit of getting up with the sunrise," Monica said tiredly. At this, Jaskier just laughed happily and exchanged a few words with her.

Then his hands lifted a pillow from my face. So I covered it with my hands. But Jaskier didn't give up. His fingers tightened around my wrists, pulling them sideways. Yesterday he would not even have dared to touch me with a stick without my explicit consent.

"Stand up, my lazy knight, breakfast is waiting," he whispered, leaning over me. I could feel his breath on my face, but I wasn't going to give up that easily.

"I'm not _your_ knight," I said, trying to pull my wrists out of his grip. “We'll come soon. After all, none of us will disappear without saying goodbye, don't worry about that anymore.”

I didn't have to open my eyes to know that the bard stiffened.

“I thought…”

“Give us a few more minutes, Jaskier. To get up and get dressed. Come on, come out.”

He obeyed. Then I stood up without any further extensions. Sleep was out of the question. This time Monica got up too. Without a word she dressed and sat on her bed, waiting for me. I do not hide, it took me longer than usual to gather and prepare.

“I don't understand what you play, Y/N.”

“What do you mean?”

“Why do you pretend you don't want to deal with them? Maybe it would be better if you went on your next trip in company. After all, you are wounded... And I can't believe you will last even another day in this village...”

I decided not to answer this provocation and only took my friend by the arm to ease my injured leg. Without any further comments we went down to the main room of the inn with all our belongings. And of course we sat down to Geralt and Jaskier, who were already eating their breakfast.

"Hmmm," the Witcher greeted us and the bard smiled even though he was chewing.

"I'll order us something," Monica offered, when she had helped me carefully take my seat. I nodded in agreement.

I looked around the room for a moment, lazily glancing over everyone gathered there. Finally, I returned my sight to the table I was sitting at and the plates of the two men accompanying me. My stomach made a softly noise but apparently Jaskier heard it anyway because he smiled at me and moved a slice of bread under my nose.

I did not hesitate even a moment, just accepted a snack. Took it in my hand, not as Jaskier expected straight to my mouth. I was hoping that such gestures and my firm glances would finally help him understand what I agreed to, extending my hand to agree.

_Friends, nothing more._

But at the same time I tried to read his signs. And maybe I was wrong in this reading, maybe I misunderstood his intentions. No less concrete message came to me.

_No, I won't give up. I will keep fighting for more._

“Hmmm” Geralt saved me from further staring into the bard's blue eyes. “Where from here?”

“Oh how rude you can ask questions, Geralt.” Jaskier obviously couldn't help himself. But it was good. This quiet, terrified and sad boy from yesterday disappeared, showing Jaskier I remembered.

“To the next city. Probably towards Termeria. Unless something stops me along the way,” I said, shrugging.

At that moment Monica returned to the table, briefly saying that our breakfast should be brought soon. She didn't add anything more. Meanwhile I noticed that Jaskier was staring intensely at Geralt as if trying to ask him something just by looking. The Witcher just cleared his throat awkwardly.

“We are also heading to Termeria. Although without plans to stop,” he said, and only then did the happy bard look back at me.

“Oh, it's perfect. You'll be able to take care of this wounded madwoman. I will be calmer.”

“Monica?!”

“Come on? You told me you must see Termeria. And that you prefer to travel in company.”

"And many other, less pretty things, I told you," I grunted.

"So decided,” summed up my friend. “And I won't have to worry about you, just focus on myself.”

I just grunted, because our breakfasts were brought to us. And something caught my eye. Jaskier tried his best to hide his interest on girl that served us. I couldn't help myself from rolling my eyes.

"Good old trio on the road together again," said the bard, when the girl was gone and his attention focused on me again.

"Only as long as you don't get on my nerves," I said back.

“So we will hardly leave the city,” added Geralt. I couldn't fail to reward such a comment with laughter. Amazingly, Jaskier also just smiled.

*

Surprisingly, it did not happen that immediately after leaving the city Jaskier began to get on my nerves. It didn't happen even for the next few days. Bard was careful about how he addressed me and what he did. He wasn't pushy at all, he fell silent when he noticed my irritation. Poor fool. He had his ways for everything. But I wasn't going to be fooled, even if my heart could.

The road was long but it didn't bore me at all. We made regular stops as soon as my leg started hurting. Every evening we set up a small camp. Geralt was silent most of the time, Jaskier sang his songs and tried to create new ones. I talked to each of them for a change. Nothing special. Almost like it used to be.

Just calmer. Without all the joyful excitement between me and the bard, no tensions and jealousy, no rush or fear of spoiling something. Without fear that I don't feel things right. It was crazy. A hasty affair that didn't work out for anyone.

Along the way, there were opportunities that could easily separate my path from the path of the two. However, contrary to assurances, I did not want to stop, and Geralt willingly undertook small orders on the route.

So after reaching Termeria... I stayed with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think, loves <3   
> I need some inspiration from you guys to put up with those dorks! ^^ <3


	6. Buttercups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So there was a ball at which Jaskier sang one very important song. And then another.   
> And there were buttercups too...
> 
> And oh my is that a one bed! No, no, just kidding ;p

The ball in Aiden was the first I had the opportunity to attend. It took place a few months after I reunited my fate with the fate of the Witcher and his bard. Sometimes we went apart, ready to ask around to find the others after some time. Several times it happened that I travelled only with Geralt, when Jaskier was too occupied with his affairs.

Yes. Finally bard went to his head and stopped resisting the urge to flirt with others around me. I also didn't hide my flirtations while around him. For once, I had the impression that Geralt was the one angry with me for my games. Anyway, despite all acceptance, it has always been awkward in situations like this.

I got to the ball thanks to the invitation that Geralt received, which he did not intend to answer. So he sent me, excusing himself with some minor work in the city. This is how I end up in a dress for the first time since time in ages. And not just any dress. I have never worn such good material.

Bare shoulders and then almost transparent sleeves speckled with gold flecks. A huge neckline, displaying what I had proudly. Narrow waist, tailored skirt. And on it also a little gold, like stars in the sky. Hair delicately strapped into one of the strange fashionable hairstyles at Aiden.

I felt uncomfortable and unnatural. Swirling between social cream, talking and smiling at them. Telling stories about my travels with a famous Witcher and my personal contribution to them. All this unusual experience only confirmed that I could never be a witch. They moved around very confidently, enchanting everyone they came in contact with.

I was just standing out of the way, answering earnestly the questions of a handsome courtier who referred to his acquaintance with Geralt when I felt someone's hand on my own waist. My hand moved immediately, reaching toward the hilt of the sword that was not at my belt this time.

"Could I steal this charming interlocutor for a moment, Lord Drosed? I swear I'll give her back in the same condition in a moment. I just want to exchange courtesy, as it happens between good friends.” A few sentences. But I calmed down after the first word. And my heart started beating as fast as never before. Even his sweet voice and blue eyes have never led me to this state.

At that moment Jaskier was not only my friend but also a savior. The only known thing I could get hold of in this ocean of wonders. Well, and his outfit... Is it possible that he looked even more handsome than usual?

My thoughts flowed in their own course. I didn't even notice when we went away from Lord Drosed and stopped in one of the many corners of the great hall. I focused too much on absorbing all of him with my eyes. Shocked and happy. It was the perfect meeting after a few weeks of separation.

"Something tells me that my brave knight is not feeling well in her dress. Even if it lies perfectly on the knight. And it emphasizes the colour of her eyes, or slim waist, reveals her arms nicely, or...” His look finally found mine. He smiled so beautifully.

I didn't answer a word. I could not get the slightest sound in any way. I was gasping for breath. Jaskier probably noticed that.

“Very pleased to see you too, Y/N. You ask what I was doing and how did I get here? Duchess Rosemary, to my great despair, abandoned me, breaking my heart into a thousand small pieces.”

"Oh," I finally said.

"But aren't balls the best medicine for heart torment?"

"I don't think so," I whispered, smiling gently. “But maybe this one will help you.”

"It has already helped," said the bard. "Seeing you..." he announced in a blissful voice. "You know, seeing friends always cheers you up," he added, as if he wanted to back out a bit of a compliment. He hadn't allowed himself such an open flirtation with me for a long time. But despite everything, I was glad that he did it.

My hands found his arms, my fingers tightened significantly on them.

“Thank you, Jaskier. For the rescue.”

"A beautiful princess always at your service," he replied flirtatiously, slipping out of my touch. "I'm glad I could say hello but my duties call," he said, then squeezed my hands and fled. As if he hadn't wanted to exchange these few words with me.

I did not intend to return to the abandoned Lord, although a few moments before I wondered if flirting with him would relax me a little. I even slowly came to the conclusion that it is worth the risk... But now. Now I wanted to listen to Jaskier's singing. I never told him but I loved listening to him. His beautiful words and melodious voice.

The official part has begun. The most important personalities were presented and music was asked. Jaskier didn't wait long. Only... For a few seconds he seemed to hesitate, his eyes found me in the crowd. He smiled. I returned the smile.

He was asked for a specific song. "Brave lady knight." My heart trembled and the smile faded. I didn't want to listen to this version. But I kept eye contact with the bard and nodded my consent. He seemed to be waiting for that. His fingers extracted the first notes from the lute. The other musicians picked up a familiar melody.

I looked down, crossed my arms. I wanted to get away from this song.

_When the noble Witcher_

_Bends his head in penance_

_Don't you try to catch her_

_Soon you'll die in silence_

_She's brave lady knight_

_There's fire in her heart_

_Her love is like a fight_

_This crushes me apart_

_Oh let her be mine_

_Oh let her be mine._

A murmur in the hall. Astonished whispers, eyes wide open. I stood with my back to the podium on which Jaskier stood with his musical accompaniment. I was walking deeper into the crowd but then stopped. These words did not match. That's not what you have heard in the inn. This... was the real version.

I turned abruptly to the bard, searching for his blue eyes. He didn't look at me. He was too busy singing. He devoted himself to the audience, who, despite their first surprise, gladly adopted the new version. I couldn't help smiling. Now I felt more confident in this foreign area.

Then... things got faster. During the break, when he did not have to sing, Jaskier gave all his attention to charming maidens who were eager to listen to him and returned the interest. In the meantime I sneaked between the columns, stood like a pole at the tables, draining more glasses of wine. Wine that quickly began to affect me.

Finally I found myself alone by the window, not very politely chasing away some intruders who kindly tried to entertain me with conversation. I didn't feel like it, nor was I able to talk to them. I wanted to sit alone with my head pressed against a stone wall, looking at the lands surrounding the palace. Thinking about all my mistakes, trying to name my own desires without understanding myself.

Then I heard footsteps. So I clenched my hands into fists, rolled my legs under me, huddling on a stone windowsill. Couldn't people leave me alone? I've never been the best at interacting with them. I wasn't interesting enough to make them really care about talking to me.

_The star fell from the sky_

_Enchanted in women's charm_

_She tucked buttercups into her hair_

_Now breathes with love_

_Come back to the heavens, oh my_

_Close your eyes, I mean no harm_

_The voices she hear in the air_

_She longs for joy above_

_I will give her to the sky_

_Though I will die of longing_

_I will give her to the sky_

_Though I will die of longing_

His song tore my heart apart. Has he really fallen in love with one already? And now he came to me, beaming with happiness and love. Arrange serenades for a newly met woman. Always been like that. Maybe I should find that poor lord and let myself be carried away by the warmth of a short romance.

Jaskier sat next to me. His hand was in my hair in a split second. And I felt him leave something there. So my own hand quickly rose to this object, on the way covering my face from the bard. I didn't want him to see the tears that came to my eyes.

"A, a, a," Jaskier said, grabbing my wrist. "They match the gold accents on your dress," he said, handing me one of the tiny flowers, a few of which he still had in his hands. I accepted the gift, staring at him without understanding.

“What is it?” I asked, frowning. “Where did you get the flowers from?”

“Oh, ho, ho. Someone here is probably not in a good mood. I can go if you prefer.” He paused for a moment but my grip and look clearly told him that I didn't want him to go. I should have stopped at that but some words were on my lips. They tasted of wine.

“Another of your loves can wait this few moment. An old friend also deserves company.”

“Another of my loves?” He asked amused. "It sounded almost like you are blaming me for it. Let me remind that I met you today when you were flirting with a rather vile guy.”

"He wasn't vile at all for me," I grunted, releasing him and hugging my knees with my hands. “Maybe it's his company I should look for now.”

"Maybe," Jaskier replied sadly, even though seconds ago his voice was raised, ready to fight. So I looked into his big, sad eyes. With my, equally big and sad. "They're buttercups," he added, his eyes running away from me, focusing on the flowers. “I thought it was funny.”

Now I was staring blankly at the little yellow flowers. Buttercups.

" _She tucked buttercups into her hair_..." I whispered, repeating the words the song bard had just composed. “Are you singing about me again?”

"Tonight's performance somehow inspired me..." I didn't have to look at him to know he was smiling.

Before I could throw myself at him with all the emotions that spilled out of me, Jaskier stood up and kissed my forehead. He stroked my cheek with his/ hand and started walking away. I had to do something.

I jerked to my feet, wanting to run after him. But barely after a few steps I tripped over my own dress and fell to the ground. This landing was not soft.

“Y/N!” In a split second I felt his touch on my skin again. “Are you all right? Someone here probably overdid the wine a bit, huh?” he laughed. “We have to get you out of here.”

*

I woke up with a terrible headache. In a small room I didn't recognize. In a large bed that smelled so nice with something familiar. I closed my eyes again, trying to remember last night.

“Jaskier” it was the only word that escaped from between my lips.

“Yes?”

I did not expect an answer, the more it surprised me. I opened my eyes abruptly and looked around. No. I was alone in this huge bed. So from where… ? I frowned.

“Yes?” I heard it again but then I saw it too. Jaskier's head appeared near the bed. He rubbed his tired eyes with his hand.

I looked with amazement over the edge of the bed and noticed that the bard was lying on a on the ground. I looked at him without understanding. But before I asked the question that was on my lips, I heard his laughter.

"You look so confused, knight."

"Yesterday, however, you were more of a knight than me," I said with a groan, falling on the pillows. As expected, the bard rose from the ground and sat on the edge of the bed. And when I patted the place next to me, he obediently lay down and sighed with relief.

I rolled my eyes and covered him with a comforter. Another pleasant sigh came from his larynx. I could listen to it forever. Meanwhile, Jaskier's eyes closed arbitrarily. With a smile, I rolled over, sliding one hand under my own head. I may not have felt well, but it was worth it.

“Where are we?” I asked. “I promised Geralt that I would return to the room he rented. He will worry. As far as he can.”

"Ymmm..." Dandelion replied half-asleep. “Still in the palace. My room.”

“And you slept on the ground?”

"You didn't feel well," he muttered, shifting his position slightly.

“And I was so terrible that you decided to suffer?” I laughed. Then his eyes opened a little. He was looking at me like a tiny puppy and my heart was melting.

"You wouldn't forgive me if we shared the bed," he said.

“In the morning you would come up with a sweet explanation. I'm sure you've done it more than once,” I said, brushing his hair back from his face.

“Not to you. Never to you.”

Now the sleep completely disappeared from his tone and look. I knew he was waiting. He watched and listened. My reaction. And I wasn't sure what to do.

“Jaskier...”

“You know you said my name in your dream?” He whispered. "Why not... Why we..." he stopped. He doubted that he really wanted to ask that question.

"I know you've never stopped looking at me that way," I said, trying to bounce the bat a little. “And when I asked you not to do something, you listened. Sweet words and chants have run out but you never stopped trying... Why?”

“You do not know? Can't you see what state you're bringing me to?”

“Why are you filled with sadness when you talk to me? It never happens when you talk to other women.”

He smiled gently at my words. His hand took mine.

"Because I can’t pretend with you," he said. “I didn't confide in my doubts about my vocals to anyone else. I did not tell anyone about my fears and hopes. I can't just sit in silence with anyone else.”

“I thought you treat friends like that.”

He smiled again.

"Maybe the feeling coming out of friendship is stronger," he said. "Maybe I really needed time to..."

“To...?”

“I won't do that to you, I won’t say it…”

“Jaskier… I... I was once angry that I became one of your love affairs. But you were nothing more to me then. Only with time... Seeing all your new, hidden sides... Removing myself from the line of banal courtship...”

“Banal?” he laughed.

“Be quiet, trying to say something here” I replied with laughter. Then his hand released mine and landed on my waist, bringing me to him. It was only this circumstance that made me realize that I wasn't wearing my dress but white men's shirt... Jaskier...

"I think I know what you want to say," he said.

"You changed my clothes, you sly beast," I hissed friendly, touching his chest, sensing the rapid beating of his heart. But Jaskier just innocently shrugged in response. "You decided you wouldn't have another chance to look, did you?"

"But I did it with my eyes closed! After all, I'm just an innocent princess!” He bowed his head and I did the same and our foreheads met. "Lady Rosemary has not abandoned me at all... She has not even accepted me. I tried... But then I ran into Geralt, who told me about this ball and that he was going to crawl out of it and send you there... Lady Rosemary immediately stopped counting to me.”

Now I smiled.

“Jaskier” I whispered.

“Yes?”

"I'm sorry," I said, staring into his eyes. I have never done this before, not in this context. So much time passed, but I knew he understood. I don't think any of us will ever be able to forget it. My fist on his face, my words sticking daggers into his heart.

"I forgave you a long time ago," he replied. In his eyes I found the truth. Because didn't he try to stop me even after that incident? He wanted to talk, though his mouth was bleeding. And I was so heartless. Now my eyes were watering at the memory. "How could I ever be angry with you, knight?"

"Good," I said. “We can try. Very slowly and based on what our friendship created” I said firmly, though I had tears in my eyes.

Jaskier nodded politely. And then he brought his face closer to mine. And he stole a short, sweet kiss from my lips. And we lay there side by side. And we fell asleep for a few more hours.

And there were still buttercups in my hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading trough it <3   
> Hope you find it wort the time ^^   
> I will apprecieate any sign from you! Would love to know what you think! Means a world to me <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it <3  
> English is not my native language, just to let you know.  
> I will appreciate every, even very short comment <3


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